I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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