dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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