we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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