I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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