It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize