Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize