'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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