You don't have asthma, your pregnant
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I should be sponsored by Trojan
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
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