i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
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Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
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Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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