for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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