i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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