Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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