Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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