you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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