Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize