I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
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He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
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I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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