If i come over, it means nothing
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize