There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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