You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
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I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
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My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
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