The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
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I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
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Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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