Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize