no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
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you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
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Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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