have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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