I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
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I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
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Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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