I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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