before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize