can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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