peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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