I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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