***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
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