My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just a social blackout drinker.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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