we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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