Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
