nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
i've created a new STD.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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