I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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