Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize