If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
His nipple licking is glorious
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