i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
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I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
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I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
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