capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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