Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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