do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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