Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want her autograph on my taint
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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