Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
It's official drugs can't kill me
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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