i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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