I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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