Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
The ass gains better be worth it
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