happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize