I am puke
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize