His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize