I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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