We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She told me I should be a condom model.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
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