What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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